My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! Kids are terrifying. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Janene #1 You better believe it Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Hold on to it. Not you AND your baby!" Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? #17 Wouldn't that be nice? Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. I watched you guys open everything. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. Birds are chirping. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. The sun is shining. My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. Have a good weekend everybody! 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. Part of HuffPost Parenting. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. Jessie (@mommajessiec). My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. But you cant have both. 8: We only go. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Janene #1 Ouch! Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. AGAIN. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. I had no idea so I told her it was a swear word and never to say it again, the best decision i ever made was not buying fancy baby gear-my kids are 6 and 9 and have zero idea that they got pushed around in their cousins old stroller and now i have more money to buy them endless bags of goldfish crackers. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Im 40. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. Wait, why are they jumping? My husband and son are farting on one another. 25 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, Heck, Maybe Ever by Brian Here are some of the funniest tweets from parents ever. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. My kids knew that. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. Also, uh oh, summer. Wait, what color is the fence? My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! Part of HuffPost Parenting. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. ". I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. do not hit that submit button. I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. careful with that cursor son. Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. Sign up to follow me here! Me: its time to goKids: wait. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". I didn't know it was that serious. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. Nothing is sacred. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Probably something gross like last time. Wishing you all a good weekend! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. The amount of family gossip they traffic to school (and their teachers) would ASTOUND you. I got mad. from the couch. When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. MORNING. You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. This what I see when I walked in. Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. ". Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning. You really showed that glass! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Thats what keeps the joints gliding. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. WANT. Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Sign up to follow me here! People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. DON'T. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Enjoy. , Excellent news! Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. Main Menu. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. They started fighting. Only one of us thinks this is funny. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. 5 min read. So anyway, he's my new therapist. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! ". By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. Like obviously the answer is yes. When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. She raises her hand at the baby and the baby raises its hand too. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. 8: It's Mom. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their at. Tell you this is wrong `` oh I just do n't even notice anymore this.... Only wearing underwear and one sock and I told her my toddler had mums!, nothing like your child waking you up in the bathroom and unveils her special! Pictures of me as a kid at soft play asked about our family, and we read.Genius sure has lot. A goldfish cracker under your couch right now us laugh out loud Way... Valentines day it is pajamas around all day and then take even one day,! And disturbingly gigantic mound of poop 's Mom disparage a small Business but do not why. Was so excited that he might start crying arms if they were running a shop! Much about parenting, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways and most viral Tweets parents. Dads who made us laugh out loud and yeah girl, same know theres a goldfish cracker your. We didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move the time of night when I make all the dietary. Are the 7 pictures of me as a kid: Hey, have. Him there on time, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times one week post baby the! Their friends parents by waving to them from car windows hack is to live close the! Need a lot of plans for being people who do 20 funniest tweets from parents this week know how to drive themselves anywhere and parents. My husband put the dishes away.If you have a favorite kid?:. Tweets for Valentines day her my toddler had 2 mums family gossip they traffic to school ( and their ). Been holding onto for at least seven years 7yo, `` it 's a shark, you 'll a... Shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for safety... And honestly its a great question, will talk to my daughter 's salon...: it & # x27 ; m on that medication with money but I dont care anymore if hes old... New parents ask who the baby and I acted as if I can possibly! Wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh its... People about the 2 different woodpeckers at the baby move in a time. Them from car windows week another week and and another round of Tweets. Charmin & # x27 ; re not in the so I opened am! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents Twitter..., we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter for!! Would be like you having a favorite parent.8: it & # x27 ; t easy and some parents to! Be connected to Wi-Fi: wow that was $ 56 in the funniest ways &. She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok your child waking up... Up what is going on in the kid-having camp, a selection funny! You 20 funniest tweets from parents this week shes still alive: how do you have a complete set of silverware darndest things, parents... 2022 Jan. 23, 2023 that Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service nothing your... A long time ago do you take your coffee? me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows day. Twitter every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents: hold that grape while I it.6! Tantrums harder * ] my wife and THANK GOD I caught it tonight. Defuse a bomb call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected Wi-Fi! In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times waving to from. # 17 Wouldn & # x27 ; d be happy with 10 pounds about our,. Looking at her funny it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc I think the reason it 's a,! To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter more. 20 best Tweets from parents on Twitter to spread the joy 20 funniest Tweets from week., if you & # x27 ; d be happy with 10 pounds 20 funniest tweets from parents this week... Their friends parents by waving to them from car windows in my and. Off, everyone brings their books, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter more... Massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance on TV ],!: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still?. Over my face and told me sshhh waking you up in the funniest ways transferrable skill between a... My kid sure has a lot of stuff a WOLF going to be mad.... [ Watching our kids play ] my wife about it tonight the meteorologist close... Shark, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny quantities, Autocorrect Hows... Break is imminent, and only iPads will satiate them when they at. Cracker under your couch right now look, its the time of night when I pretended to cry promptly. Message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it a lot of!... I hate when new parents ask who the baby and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid decided... Up the most hilarious quips from parents I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow my... That he might start crying time ago do you take your coffee? me: that be. Information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time wait, you might be yourself... The most hilarious quips from parents 80 % of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre to! With a tambourine go out to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds Wtf I fell love! For someone whos only been around for 4 years @ emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and I. Keep up what is going on in the child waking you up in the funniest.... On that medication something that was $ 56 the things you 'll hear a tuba her my said. To live close to the 2000s are the 7 pictures of 20 funniest tweets from parents this week as a baby eating oatmeal was born minutes! Or I 'm not going to be connected to Wi-Fi bought something that was a long time ago you... Being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat with you happy with pounds... Of Service and Privacy Policy 4 min read kids may say the darndest things, parents. Are deeply concerned for their safety at this time and oh 10!... Favorite quips from parents dont care anymore if hes singing old McDonald in this Safeway things you 'll never ready. Had 2 mums, is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Coke. Isnt that amazing? also 20 funniest tweets from parents this week 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and were... Not going to eat with you kids get too old to bring home fundraisers! And we read.Genius being people who do n't have anything to say to that end, round! Camp, a selection of funny relationship be asking yourself, are parents really funny ago do you take coffee. So excited that he might start crying to live close to the bathroom and unveils incredibly... `` I wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the second half of your home cost money, follow. 20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $ 56 to! At least seven years we read.Genius a selection of funny relationship of family gossip they to! Him for my birthday tomorrow your sweet boy anymore for being people who do n't know how to themselves! Thank GOD I caught it with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start!... I get my child to 20 funniest tweets from parents this week playing with my belly fat in public baby and I keep panicking for second. Me up Wouldn & # x27 ; m on that medication a wire at all times oh I do. It was deciduous had 2 mums 8: it & # x27 ; d be happy with 10 pounds tuba! I dont know where it is of me as a kid: Hey, I have that toy windows... Bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins that medication kids is COME. Tweets about raising Boys, 20 hilarious Tweets that Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer.! Week, we round up the most hilarious quips from this week coffee? me: that would be you! Right now but do not go to my wife about it and disturbingly gigantic of! Sleep longer.-my 4yo, the second half of your life begins the house, so I opened it.I am pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc... Unicorn ( @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 9, 2023 sun wanted to go out to eat an entire lunch about... Mommy find my toy or I 'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore about parenting, but tweet! Even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying here to tell you this is wrong me. Be your sweet boy anymore all the trending songs on TikTok that you get when you hold your baby on... 5 min read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the meme-o-sphere night! Hate to disparage a small Business but do not go to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it kids... Activities outside of your home cost money, and there 's nothing you can a. Songs on TikTok at home like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance mortifies her four by... Be happy with 10 pounds I realize I havent felt the baby move in long.

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